And so begins my daughter’s TRUE education…

When you are raising a very young child, you always want to keep a few things in mind when purchasing toys. First, you want to be sure the toy is safe. Second, you should ensure some of their toys have educational value. When I say educational value, I don’t mean academic education, like “book smarts”. I mean real life, need-to-know, common sense kind of education. Y’know, the kind of stuff that people really use in life. In the pursuit of giving my 2 year old daughter the best upbringing, I made it my mission to get fun, safe, and truly educational toys. I believe I’ve reached the pinnacle of that mission. Sadly, from here on out I believe I’ve “jumped the shark” when it comes to vitally important teaching toys.

I proudly present my daughters new educational toys…

My daughter's toys

From here we’ll begin educating her on some important principles that will guide her throughout life. These toys can teach her important things such as:

  • Truth, Justice and the American Way.

  • With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility.

  • Criminals are a Superstitious, Cowardly Lot.

  • It’s Against My Programming to Impersonate a Deity.

and most importantly …

  • Together We Can Rule the Galaxy as Father and Daughter!

It’s very gratifying when you can educate the youth of today on truly important matters.

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9 Responses to “And so begins my daughter’s TRUE education…”

  1. Thomas Says:

    Very funny post. It’s somewhat sad, but true. I sometimes catch myself talking to my two little girls about what’s right and wrong in context of movies that I grew up with (e.g., Star Wars, Superman, Indiana Jones, ET, etc…).

    I guess there’s different ways of thinking what is educational. And I like your definition of it. I think most people leave it out too much and are too concerned with just shoving information into the kids’ brains. Instead what a better world it would be if they were taught justice and responsibility!

  2. Erika Says:

    Excellent judgment!

  3. Ed Says:

    Have you seen these?


    I’ve only been able to find the Lando and Leia versions. You should totally get your daughter the Leia version.

  4. Stuart Renton Says:

    Extremely funny.

    At what age does she learn that Smiting Evil is good?

  5. Todd Says:

    That is just too cool. No Doctor Who scarf?

  6. rob! Says:

    also–Don’t Pull on Superman’s Cape, Don’t Spit Into the Wind.

    where’s Aquaman?!?

  7. Shag Says:

    Hey gang – Thanks for all the comments! To address a few points…

    You definitely need to communicate with kids in terms they understand. So if you can use an example from their favorite TV show or Movie, all the better.

    I’ll definitely keep my eyes out for the Leia Mighty Muggs toys.

    It’s never too early to start Smiting Evil, right?

    I wish they made a chunky Doctor Who figure. I’d be all over that!

    I’m still shopping for an Super Friends Aquaman. I haven’t found one in the stores yet.

    Thanks again for the comments gang!


  8. Stuart Renton Says:

    Just think. In the interests of education, you could get:

    Fluffy Pink Jason Vorhees Machete.
    Half Life Face Crab that genuinely eats your face*

    The list is endless, but I was somewhat surprised to see Aliens toys being marketed at kids. For an 18 movie, that is a bit weird.

    *Hmm is that rude? I’m 50/50

  9. Luke Says:

    It’s reasons like this why I was so annoyed that the Super Friends Hawkman toy was cancelled.

    I need to start buying some of the cool stuff which is available now so that my son has it in a few years when he can appreciate them. I’m at the stage of fatherhood where I fret about how I am ever going to rear my son since I have no clue what I am doing, but one thing I remember from my childhood is that Toys Are Important.

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