![\"Aquaman](\"http:\/\/onceuponageek.com\/images\/aquaman_king.jpg\")
AQUAMAN WEEK continues here at Once Upon a Geek!<\/p>\nAQUAMAN WEEK continues here at Once Upon a Geek!<\/p>\n
Aquaman takes a lot of heat from comic book fans and comedians alike.\u00a0 With his particular powers and the general public’s awareness of him, he makes an easy target.\u00a0 However, he really deserves more respect than he gets.<\/p>\n
Many people don’t realize this, but Aquaman is one of the few superheroes that continued to be published in the late-1940s\/early-1950s (the era between the Golden Age and the Silver Age) while most other superhero characters disappeared into obscurity.\u00a0 In the mid- to late-1940s, superhero comic books were losing popularity while the comic industry as a whole was expanding.\u00a0 Comic book publishers were dropping superhero books faster than you could imagine.\u00a0 These comic books were replaced with more popular tales such as westerns, romances, crime dramas, war stories, horror, science fiction, humor, and the like.\u00a0 Only a small handful of superhero comics continued to be published during this era.\u00a0 Those from DC include Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman; with back-up features starring Aquaman, Green Arrow, Johnny Quick, and Robotman.\u00a0 With the multitude of characters created in the early-1940s, obviously Aquaman had a strong appeal with the readers to make it through those lean years.\u00a0 It’s really surprising to think he outlived characters such as Green Lantern and Flash.<\/p>\n
Another little known fact is that Aquaman was the second DC character to be animated way back in 1967. Lots of people know he had a cartoon, but many don’t realize that he beat Batman to animation by a year.\u00a0 Aquaman started off as one-half of The Superman-Aquaman Hour<\/em>, but his segments were spun off into their own show the next year.\u00a0 Not to shabby for a guy who can talk to fish.<\/p>\n \n Here are a few Aquaman-related bits that I enjoy.\u00a0 The first was put together by an Aquaman fan as a response to all the flak he takes.<\/p>\n This has been making its way around the internet for a couple years, but first appeared at “McSweeney’s Internet Tendency<\/a>“.<\/p>\n \n AQUAMAN, – – – –<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n First off, I don’t talk to them. OK?<\/p>\n That’s, like, the first thing. Let’s start there.<\/p>\n It’s not like I’m all, Hey, Peter Pufferfish, what’s up? and he’s all, Yo, nothing much, brah.<\/p>\n It doesn’t work like that, all right? I mean, most of them don’t even have brains, for one thing. They have maybe a bump at one end of their spinal cord, a pimply little swelling of ganglia, if they’re lucky.<\/p>\n Language is not a looming issue, is what I’m saying.<\/p>\n No, how it works is: I command them. Period, the end. Command, as in bend them to, you know, my will and whatnot. Fuckin’ A.<\/p>\n Even the ones with actual for-real brains, the cetaceans. If I want, you know, a pod of Burmeister’s porpoise to ram the hell out of Black Manta’s Manta Sub, that shit gets done. If I totally want, like, a southern minke whale to go hump a giant squid (its most hated enemy, by the way), I just go doodoodoodoodoodoo <\/em>and it’s like Show World down there. Not that I would, because, you know, gross, but I’m just saying: I don’t ask. I’m not going to be all, If you wouldn’t mind terribly much, please, Mr. Southern Minke Whale, go get your nasty freak on with that giant squid.<\/p>\n Just, you know, FYI.<\/p>\n And it’s not training. I read that on some blog: “He just trains them to do all that.”<\/p>\n Dude, I can get 6 million krill to gunk up the engine of a getaway ship by having them hurl themselves up the intake jets. Mass sea-monkey suicide. OK? Try that shit with operant conditioning, with some big-titted blondie waggling a smelt, see what you get. Think they’re meting out kick-ass sea justice over at Epcot? Shyeah.<\/p>\n But everyone takes their shot. Fucking YouTube and shit. Cartoon Network. Suddenly every hacky comic’s got a tight five-minute chunk on lame old Aquaman. “Haw haw haw, he’s so laaaaame, hee hee hee, go talk to a guppy!”<\/p>\n It’s all good. Somehow I manage to suffer through it. I soldier bravely the fuck on, comforted only by the small but telling fact that I’m absolute goddamn ruler of-what was it again?-oh, yeah: the EARTH.<\/p>\n The PLANET.<\/p>\n And you, you’re, like, star of open-mike night at the Mirth Shack in Jacksonville. And your MySpace blog? OMG! ROTFLMAO!<\/p>\n You used to be cool, man.<\/p>\n When you were a kid, you’d sit at the bottom of the Stupaks’ pool, remember? Used to sit there and pretend the kickboard between your knees was Storm the Giant Seahorse, and you’d stay under for as long as you could, going doodoodoodoodoodoo<\/em>.<\/p>\n Remember there was that orange T-shirt you had? Remember that? That was cool.<\/p>\n You sure seemed like a happy little kid.<\/p>\n But, you know, I get it. Whatever, that was a long time ago. Now you’re all, Wonder Woman never even let him fly her plaaaane, and whatnot. And that’s, you know, fine.<\/p>\n I could command you. You, those Robot Chicken<\/em> assholes, alla y’all. Command you all to, you know, quit it.<\/p>\n I don’t make, like, a big deal about that, but I could. You’re just a fish at heart, dude. Down deep in your forebrain. I fuckin’ could.<\/p>\n But I won’t. That’s not how I roll. I’m a hero. Plus, I’m King of the Seven Seas, so, you know, I got shit to do<\/em>, right?<\/p>\n No, it’s fine. You rock on with your bad self, dude. Mazel tov.<\/p>\n Seriously, though, leave my lady out of it. That’s not cool, man. Mera, she doesn’t get it like I do. She’s sensitive. I start hearing you talking shit about her, or her hard-water powers, or that time she turned evil, and I will fuck your shit up<\/em>. Count on it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n \n This next one is a song called, “Arthur Curry”, by a band named Ookla The Mok<\/a>.\u00a0 They are a fantastic “geek rock<\/a>” band that does bits about comic books, Star Trek, and lots of other geek-related interests.\u00a0 Be sure to check them out and buy their stuff!<\/p>\n This particular song pokes fun at Aquaman while celebrating him at the same time.\u00a0 Below you’ll find a fan-created video of the song<\/a> followed by the lyrics.<\/p>\nShow some respect and laugh a little…<\/h3>\n
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\nKING OF THE SEVEN SEAS,
\nHAS FUCKING HAD IT
\nWITH YOU, MAN.
\nBY GLEN WELDON<\/p>\n